A Story of our times . . .

Not So True an incident. But this is pretty much what would happen, if South Indians decide to come out of the closet . . .

No offence intended !

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The phone rings at the Seshadri household. Five years after the Seshadris sent their son to the US, there isn’t a single phone that has hit them as hard as this one would . . .

Iyengar Boy said, “Mom, I've decided to get married."

The Seshadris were ecstatic to hear these words pop out of their only son’s mouth. But they were also afraid at the same time. And from what they had heard from their neighbours, the US “does things” to perfectly normal people.

Mrs Seshadri asked nervously, “Indian No? “

“Iyengar”

“Thank god ! We will see the girl tomorrow. I will inform all our relatives. Ha ! I will first call your atthai( (Aunt)). .. Her son went to the states and ended with one of those Punjabi or something like that ! But my son, Good boy, saw an Iyengar girl !! I am proud of you “

“Amma((Mother)) . . .”

“What Amma, I have never been so excited in my life. First we have to see the girl. Give me her address . . .”

“I can’t give you the girl’s address...”

“Why not ? is it because they don’t know ? We will convince her... Don’t worry “

“No, it’s because there is no girl . . . “

“ Ennada Solra ?? ((What the F??)) “

“I am involved with an Iyengar, not a girl but a BOY”

“Is this some kind of TV show ? Is some shaniyan ((ass****)) going to come to our house now and tell us that all this was a joke ? He’s going to come now, isn’t it ? “

“ No mom, no one’s going to come. This is real. I want to marry him and him only...”

His father retorted, “This is not Normal, you know that “

“ Appa ((Father)) who are you to say this is not normal ? How do you know this is not normal ? I am going to marry him and him only.” Saying this, he disconnected the phone.

The Seshadris were appalled and did what other parents would do when presented with such a private conversation. They called their entire extended family over to discuss it. Grandfathers, grandmothers, aunts, uncles, their sons and daughters, cousins, all of them extended to express their views on the issue over filter coffee and masala wada.

“What nonsense, Seshadri ?? “ Asked the Grandfather.

“Is that nut serious ? In our community, there are no gays. “

“Amma, Amma, What is gay ? “ interrupted a six year old Acchu, loudly.

“Sssssshu, Aachu, go outside and play with Kichu .. . “ said his Mother embarrassed.

“Kicchu, Gay na bad word da !! ((Gay is a bad word)) “said Aachu running out . . .

“Ssssssh, Aachu. I hope he gets a girlfriend...”

“Comm’on Sarita, He’s just 6 !! “

“The earlier the better and I am certainly not sending him to US”

The Aunt joined in at this moment, “ Not everyone is like that. My son married a Punjabi. But he atleast married a girl . . .”

“You know she has a beard rite ? “

“ Oh Please, Atleast she’s a girl . . .”

“Enough Enough” the grandfather interrupted. “This is not about her daughter-in-law’s beard. This is a serious issue.”

“There are so many fundamental complications, like during marriage, who will be the bride and who will be the groom ? Who will tie the mangal sutra to whom ? The bride is supposed to sit on her father’s lap. So, in this case, will the groom sit on the Mother’s lap ??? “

“Yea, look at the bright side. Seshadri, atleast you wouldn’t have to spend money on the silk sarees. Those Nalli B*******, really screw me up everytime there’s a wedding...”

“And also on that Mehendi thing. Does your son want it ?? “

Laughs .

Periappa((Father’s elder brother)) interferes, “ Does you future son-in-law , er . . . . Cook ?? “

“Don’t call him my son-in-law . . . “

“May be you should call him that. That way, he would get embarrassed and turn into one of us.”

“Nopes, he will elope then. That is not good for our family name.”

Another cousin added , “ I knew he was gay. Right from the day he cried when he was watching Kabhi Kushi Kabhi gum with “

“It’s Gham, not gum “

“Does it matter, all he’s done is given us that, GHAM !”

Periamma ((Father’s elder brother’s wife)) added another technical problem,”How the hell will they have a baby?“

Her son, straight and married to a girl answered, “Amma, adu US ma ...(It’s US, mother). They would have discovered a way to that too . . . “

At this time, Mr Gay-boy’s mother started crying, “ I knew this would happen. When I showed his horoscope to the astrologer living in the Natatmoeutleswaram district of Tamil Nadu, He mentioned that he would get married, but will be as if he is not married. . . .”

Mr Seshadri interrupted, “It’s all because of you. You wanted him to go to states and earn money in dollars. Had he been in a government job, he would not even have heard the gay word . . . “. He then turned to the boy’s other cousin, “ You are also 27, do you also turn into this gay stuff ? “

“You can’t turn into one Uncle . . .”

“shut up you fool. It’s all because of that Stupid Michael Jackson and that britaany .... “

At this time the phone rings. It’s his son again.

“Appa, I wanted to tell something...”

“Son, why do you want to turn gay, just marry some girl . . .”

“Any girl ?? “

“Yes, yes any girl .. .”

“A girl who’s black . . . “

“Yea, a girl would do . . . “

“ who’s divorced three times . . . “

“everyone gets divorced these days. . . a girl . . “

“has three children . . . “

“We all love children . . “

“ who eats non-veg, drinks three mugs of beer a day and will call you by your first name ? “

=========

Adapted from an email forward - No idea about its source !

Shruti Hassan makes her Debut @ OFFSIDE. Another reason to be straight !

16 Reasons to marry . . . .Rakhi Sawant !

"Give me one fucking reason why you would marry Rakhi Sawant . . ."
I will give you sixteeen.
1. Consider the probability of your victory. You are a part of a reality show that is going to be judged by person having an IQ of 20 and one who considers third grade arithmatics as magic and neutralisation in chemistry a miracle of god !!
2. Face it. Accept it. There's a 50% probability that you might marry a female dumber than you are. You may as well marry on reality TV saving on all marriage expenses and all your relatives can watch it from their living room. if NDTV Imagine gets a sponsor, they might even send you on your Honeymoon !!
3. Beat the recession,yaar ! If You get kicked out after your company makes you run half marathons; all you need to do is ask your wife to dance for a year's expense to be taken care off !

4. The after marriage expenses. With a wife who thinks Barista is in France and doesn't understand English; for a picnic all you need to do is take to the nearest Ganesh Mandali who puts on music.
5. You have a girl, who's dumb,rich and has her own house in Mumbai. Still didn't get it ? ? ?
6. You can kiss her in public.In front of the press, its even better !!
7. With reality shows starting every sunday and your wife a part of almost all of them, you don't even have to be around for her. The heck, you can even have an affair. And as long as you speak in English, you are alive and happy.
8. You have a ready made and well rehearsed dance partner. You can partner her to a dance competition and "gyrate" your way to victory.
9. The amount you save on clothes. Your wife believes in austerity and like Mahatma Gandhi can't wear GUCCI, when half the country doesn't have a thing to wear.
10. Rent out her Remix collections. Some idiot sings, another mixes, she dances and you laugh your way to the bank !
11. Save yourself from the bashing of the MNS and the Sena. You can turn into a hindu and a marathi by marriage. And they Love her too ! ! !
12. Be a winner for a change. Be the neighbourhood celebrity that you always wanted to be. After all those years of being an "also ran", be the owner of a Onida TV that is , truly, "Neighbour's Envy, Owner's pride" ! ! !
13. You can visit all the Page 3 parties in Mumbai and meet all those people who made socialisng a science. You can be among those special few, who consider going to parties their occupation. If not for all these, marry her for atleast the free booze you get at these parties . . .
14. What else do you have to do in life ? You are either a business analyst working your ass-off for some investment banker or you are some stupid software engineer wasting your time over some 15000 lines of cobol code which no one in the earth makes a head or tail of. You think you can become famous doing either of the two ??
15. Because you want to be happy and not *gay*. With women willing to turn gay rather than wanting to marry you, this is probably the only chance to prove that your straight !
16. Because you truly love her. You Sat through 15 points of bullshit and tolerated this shit of a blog to read the sixteenth point. No one deserves her more than you do !!

Rakhi Sawant plans to marry over the next three months on NDTV Imagine. She has around 16 morons to choose from . . .

==========

Katrina Kaif - Cosmopolitan Scans . . . Gorgeous as ever.

15 days to 2009 . . .

Great to be back, quite a big break and a lot of things happening in the past three months. So doing the honours, very briefly: 

Aditya Harihar Save: He’s very much among the stars. After a turbulent past two months, Aditya departed after suffering from a brain related disorder. Sorry for him leaving us so soon and happy that he did not have to suffer any more. R.I.P

Terrorist Attacks and Mumbai: Wohi Purani Nayee Kahani. A**h***s arrive. Bomb the better part of Mumbai. Our Bureaucracy with all its sloth blames Pakistan and “requests” Pakistan to stop doing the same. Pakistan’s government denies the existence of Pakistan’s army and wants the Indian Cricket team to tour Pakistan as a good will gesture. BCCI decides that there isn’t enough money in Pakistan and would prefer the Champions T20 tournament to take place in Nanded, where no terrorist will ever strike. While all this goes on, Barkha Dutt, the whole and sole person entrusted with the responsibility of protecting India from all of satan’s forces calls all her sources and keeps discussing the same nonsense on We, the People every week.  

I was really irritated by the way the whole event was covered. I have a cousin, who had a couple of his office staff caught in the Taj cross fire, who made it very clear that none of the news channels, including certain reputed ones, were reporting correct information. You need to be very dispassionate while you cover news and it’s high time that journalists be responsible and behave in a mature manner.

BTW, from when did the TAJ MAHAL hotel become the “Icon” of Mumbai???

I probably, am as weak in geography as I was in my third standard.

Life goes on . . .

Indian Cricket: Mahendra Singh Dhoni. Aaj Tak and India TV make a living out of this guy. Anyways, enjoy the honeymoon while it lasts.

Recession in the US: Why the hell are we in India bothered? Because foreign institutional investors are only people who can power the market to 21000 points. If they take their money from away from India, the sensex travels through the time machine and goes back to where it was in 2003. Two surds and one Harvard graduate could realize that one needs more that cutting basis points to make the economy strong and healthy. Pass the infrastructure projects that you guys are sitting on dudes, will probably get both the economy and the unemployment stats back on track.

CAT 2008:  Don’t have the balls to calculate my score. Anyways, its better to have some fireworks go out in the New Year. Have already been kicked out by IIFT. Looking forward to JMET, SNAP, XAT and FMS. Hopefully, should send XAT out to the stands, the Priya Geddi way!!

Varun Rajkumar: Still working on the Mainframe. Yes, working. Really don’t know what more to tell, when I confess that I wrote this post while I was working on my company machine.The sub prime mortgage crisis has hit my account pretty hard; still we here are alive and hearty. I don’t know where or what to do after the end of January 2009, once the MBA results are out. Probably, the results would decide where/what I would do.

In certain cases, all one can do is pray.

--------X-------------X----------------

Signing out with a good anecdote:

As I was walked into DAV College Bhandup, searching for my JMET examination class room, I decided to relieve myself and save the trouble for searching for a loo later. I couldn’t find one at all, in the dim light of the college and finally found one.

I entered and just as I walked into, I saw a couple of girls staring at me, absolutely perplexed. Confused as I was, I continued walking, while I saw a whole bunch of girls at the Basin there. Scarred as hell at that, I ran out, much to the amusement of my friend waiting outside, who burst out laughing!! Reluctantly, I looked up and saw this clearly written, “GIRLS TOILET”!!!

I had mis read that as “Gents Toilet” instead. But what really was the knock out punch was this line by my friend …

“ Main shayad IIM main bhi ghus jaonga life main, Lekin tu ab jidhar gusa vahan kabhi nahi ghus paoonga”

Remembered the Hutch joke, Life does indeed come a full circle!!

--------x--------------x-----------

My best wishes to Sunil Yadav, who got hitched on the 30th of November 2008.

Anna Ivanovic, Dedicated to Rohit Bhute.

ROCKING ON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two years and three months ...........

More than 1000 hours of Efforts in every section  .....................

More than a 100 Full length Mock tests ................

More than 50 TIME, IMS and Career Launcher Mock Papers   .............

After two disasterous CAT papers ...

Finally its My turn to smile  ..........................................

Pray, guys that my CAT score is atleast this report card ....

Religion and Underwear !!

Yesterday as the Delhi blasts happened, I was reading a book for the sixth time to kill time. While I read the email sent by the radical islam group called Indian Mujhahideen, I also came across a very interesting Malayalam anecdote in the book:

An old man whose son was working in the Gulf sent him a parcel of colourful shirt pieces. In the habit of wearing a konakam, a kind of underwear usually worn by oldies, the old man took the shirt piece, cut it up into konakams and started wearing them. Desirous of showing off his new-found affluence, the old man acquired the strange habit picking up a corner of his dhoti to display his colourful underwear. When acquaintances asked him about his new konakams, the old man was only too glad to say that his son had sent them all the way across the seas. One day, the old man, in a hurry to get some errand through, rushed out of home forgetting to wear his Vilayati underwear. On the street, the old gent started on his favourite trick; picking up the corner of his dhoti. The passersby seeing the sight could not help laughing. But the old man thought the smiles and the laughs were all in appreciation of his Vilayati Konakam. “This is nothing, I have 14 more”, he told those who cared to listen amid the hidden smiles.

The same it is with religion. It is like underwear: an important personal thing. Its display makes it vulgar and ridiculous. Religion has often been brought down from the sublime from the ridiculous, just like the Indian Mujhahideen say that they are doing Islam proud. Religion then is to the soul what underwear is to the body. And to all those who make a show of displaying their brand of religion on their sleve, I can only say what I would have liked to tell the old man,

“Sir, your bottom can be seen!”

Source of the Story: Believe it or not , Kushwant Singh’s Joke Book 4.
====

Picture : Gul Panag, Speechless aren’t you !!

Beijing's Bolt!

Opening ceremonies set the tone for any event. Consider the 2004 Olympic ceremony at Athens; the IOC before the ceremony had major concerns on the Athens Olympic committee’s organization capabilities. The splendid opening ceremony dispelled all those for sure, increasing expectations from the Beijing 2008 four years later.
The Organizing committee at London, for the 2012 Olympics has already issued statements confessing that Beijing would be a tough act to follow. Never a one to be fatalistic at any point of time; I am forced to agree that the showpiece in China was probably destiny’s way of acknowledging what China had set to achieve when they bid for the Olympics; to show the world that China had arrived. The Athletes obliged as well. Michael Phelps chucked Mark Spitz out of the Olympic record books. Usain Bolt – Well, he simply ran his way into the records in 9.69 seconds.
A world wide audience of over 4 billion viewers watched the opening ceremony at Beijing. Over a lakh of support staff was recruited for the 2 week event, increasing stakes like never before. China’s Human rights groups, Beijing’s high pollution levels and of course the Tibet twist was completely eclipsed by the round the clock show piece.
Yes, Stalin still lives in China. Instances of land grabbing and of course the compulsory shutting down of factories in Beijing threatened to take the sheen of the marvelous opening ceremony. But China ensured that the limelight stayed where it wanted. The heck, it managed fox the rain god as well with the revolutionary cloud seeding technique.
Traditionally, the Olympics have always made a hole in the host nation’s economy. After the 1976 Olympics; the city of Montreal mentioned that they have just now managed to clear all Olympic dues. Of course, Los Angeles and Barcelona have made profits, but with the amount of money China has spent, it remains to be seen if they can recover it soon as well.
India surely would be sweating The Commonwealth games are on a smaller scale but the last successful event managed by India was the 1982 Asian games. The Indians have struggled to organize a simple cricket match properly and the construction for all stadiums is behind schedule.
What has made the Olympics even better, is the performances by the home team. China had set a target for their athletes to top the overall medal standings and beat the USA in their home Olympics. They have achieved that, by winning more gold medals. Of course the track and field events are on, and the US might still edge China out, but they certainly have given them a run for their money. The Indians on the other hand have beaten their own record of two medals, which is very good, especially the ones in boxing and wrestling.
Finally, it feels really sad to see the Indian government sponsoring politicians and federations chiefs to Beijing with the tax payer’s money. The Indian contingent had a 56 member contingent, accompanied by 42 officials!
Picture: Amanda Beard, Former World Breast-Stroke Champion and one of the sexiest athletes ever, beating Kournikova and Sharapova hands down!
Have quite a few of this stunner. Let me know ...

======

Today’s exchange rate:
1$ = Rs 43.60
At the Indian Visa office today,
1$ = Rs 47.5
When asked about the discrepancy, the officials simply mentioned that they had received orders from Delhi to charge the rates and offered no explanation.
“Sau main se 80 beimaan, phir bhi mera Bharat mahan !”

The Sequel !!

I still get Kudos for the 14 page Marathon I had written for the batch of BE Electrical 06. It's amazing, but I am really delighted that atleast a few of my batch-mates, and most of them remember this for the right reasons. Ofcourse, I did get a couple of death-threats, and I have removed/chopped some names of that post. But, believe me, I still like to read and remember all the things that happened over the past four years.

About 2 and a half years since that post, just decided to milk the same cow and bring out a sequel. All of this, excluding the conversation at the end are real incidents. The conversation is inspired by a real incident that happened a year back at Amsterdam. Trust you guys would enjoy this. I have taken names of only those individuals, who I am certain would take this in the right spirits. I have used initials, which I am sure you guys would relate to as well.

Finally, I would like to thank all of you all for being a wonderful audience and please give me a shout in case of any concerns.

Finally a warning : Reader Discretion Strongly Advised.

==

Incident 1 :This probably was in third year sixth semester. This was during a lab session, in the DSP lab in our department. We had to write C/C++ programs and this particular computer was shared by YT, SS and I.
I was doing the coding and as always YT was busy. SS had already checked the program the other batches were made to write and had copied the whole program from them. She asked me if we could refer to her program, which I had refused. I managed to write the program, that wasn’t giving the desired output.
Our computer practical then used to be much like a fish market. Everyone keeps talking to each other and surfing the internet. SS was busy, keeping many engineers and of course YT busy.
“Program nahi chal raha hai … mera yeh program dekhega kya ??”
“Nahi.”
“Program Dekhega kya ???”
“Nahi.”
“Book dekhega ??????”
“Nahi.
Finally, after an hour, frustrated….
“VARUN…………..DIKHAOOOOOOOOO KYA?????????????????????”
Not only me, everybody looked at her.

====

Incident 2:This happened in third year, fifth semester. We had our PCT presentation, for which we were busy working in the English communication lab. This was when, AM, came running over, completely in tears. She came straight to another guy, NS sitting next to me and whispered something in his ear. The culprit was Bhim(Ameya Kulkarni , was at that time madly in love with another gal, lets call her NK– for the uninitiated) who apparently had rejected her material in the final draft and probably (not sure about it !!) had given her a good dressing down.
“Yeh Bhim Saala bahut bhav maar raha hai. Saala topper ban gaya toh kya samajtha hai.”
To our Professor, “ Madam, this Bhim is acting too much !!........................... “

I looked behind, one engineer was laughing like never before. I couldn’t understand, as to what exactly was there to laugh about. So, Kophche main lekar , Pyar se poocha..

“Abe, Kya hua ?? Kyun has raha hai itna ??”
“Mereko pata hai ki Bhim despo hai, lekin aisa karega maine socha nahi!!”
At this point getting exactly what he’s trying to say, started laughing.
“Lagta hai, Bhim ke height se, FOOTBALL bhi squash ball lagta hai !! "

====

Incident 3:After bunking a Numerical technique lecture, which was followed by an SP taken, Electrical Networks lecture. Bhim walked in coolly, with absolutely new qualms about making a delayed entrance in front of the HOD.
When SP asked as to why the previous lecture was bunked, he remarked,
“Madam, isko kuch seekhaneko aata nahi hai.”

===

Incident 4: Here’s another masterpiece. OOAD lecture, after Ankur Dani finished arguing with PG that his design rocks.
Aditya Save to a bored Rohit Bhute,
“ Are, shot nako lavus. Dani panchvees madhun tees anayche prayatna kartoy”

Dani responded,

“ BAAAAAAssss! Ikade chalis anayche vaande hot aahet”.

====

Incident 5:

A self obsessed Bhavesh Ranavat, after semester 5 results, which had about half our class as casualties remarked ,
“CHiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp, Chirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp, Baba aeeeee, ek dam sahi result hai, ek dam sahi result hai, Swapnil Jadhav fifth hai, MERESE EK MARK PEEEEEECHE !!!”
Needless to say, He was dancing just like Amitabh Bacchan.

===

This was something Bhise had told me, a masterpiece, good enough to be replaced here.
AB, a passionate Kashmiri, was explaining to his team members, the idea behind, “Panun Kashmir”, or an independent Kashmir state, as I interpreted it.

So as he was going on,
“Kassssshmir, will be one state, where all native Kashmiri citizens will live together. This will be our own land. This will be different from our both Countries…….”

Rajan Arora, suddenly remarked, “This is impossible….”
Charged up, AB retorted, “How can you say that ?? Kaise bata sakte ho tum ?? “

"Aisa possible hi nahi hai. Sab Pandit ek saath rahega, Saala ek bomb dalega toh Sab mar Jayega na ???? "

===

No one who’s been to Amsterdam has ever returned without making the best use of the nightlife the city offers. Apparently, there was this Indian pair, who managed to do the impossible. The Mayor there is having a Felicitation ceremony there, to felicitate these heroes, who returned home, in every sense of the word “Unscathed!!!”.
Following was their infamous conversation that took place there. Read on…

Before I proceed certain character traits:
AK : Yea, you can call him Akshay Kumar as well. A staunch hindutva supporter, at times I don’t understand as to how this dude could have uttered the dialogues reported. With Amitabh Bacchan’s height and a fetish for girls with long hair, Katrina Kaif never had it better.

VB: Similar Guy. With an even similar ideology. Loves Muslim girls. Wonder if that’s why he loves Muslims so much.

The Conversation begins:
AK : Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, finally aa gaya apun. Saala kitna din ke baad, finally pahunch hi gaya.
VB: {Kaisa Despo hai !!} KADAK, ek dam Special kadak !!
AK: Aaare, VB, Kay Babe aahe ikade !! Me aata ekade yeoon sagla finish karnar aahe.
VB:{ Ooth gaya hai saale ka !} hmmmmmm…
AK: VB, tikade bhag…………. BANANA BAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! chal chal chal jaate hai chal….
VB: Abe jaa mat, ruk idhar !!!!!
AK: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Kya cheez hai kya kadak hai !, chal be, aaaj apuneko game karneka hai ek dam kadak.
VB: {Paidaishi Gh**** hai, kaisa aadmi hai} dekh, naya desh hai apuneko kuch pata nahi hai. Saala Gora log apuneko nanga karke bhejega na kuch samjhega nahi. Aukat main re tu. Ud mat, bahar se photo nikal aur jaaaaate hain .
AK: KYUN ??????????????????? tu kya itna paisa karcha karke idhar photo nikalneko aaya hai kya ?? Abe andar chal… ek dam “BANANA BAR” main “BANANA” Gussaake aate hain.
VB : Mereko yeh sab pasand nahi hai. { Main Homo nahi hoon Bhaiiyon !!}
AK : {Yeh sach main pagal ho gaya hai , Aisa kaisa keh raha hai ? } BAAAABA AAAAee . Abe tu chal, apun ek dam jhing-jhing-jhing-jhing karke aate hain .((No idea what that means, guys. The Dutch caught this guy dancing there.))
VB : (Frustrated !) Abe Ch*****, tera kya utha hai ?? reh na chaddi main. Ud kyun raha hai ? tu kya saala itna paisa karch karke idhar maraneko aaya hai kya ??
AK: ((Now Damn serious !)) { Saala yeh mereko India main toh kuch karne diya nahi. Idhar bhi taaang ada raha hai. } Abe tu kya baat kar raha hai. ((Now comes the Master-stroke. The protagonist with the irritating ability of dragging Ayodhya into any conversation, gives the killer punch)) JIS TARAH AYODHYA MAIN JAAYEGA TOH MANDIR JAATE HAIN,AISA AMSTERDAM AAYEGA TOH BANANA BAR JAANEKA HI HAI !!
VB: {BH********, M********} Mereko aisa sab sexual exploitation pasand nahi hai.
AK : ????????????????????????????????????????????? Badve, ghar pe BP download kar kar ke dekhta hai. Idhar aake dekhega toh problem kya hai tereko ?
VB : BP ka experience alag hai.((SHAMAAAAAAAAAAJ !!)) Akela dekne ko Majja aata hai. Saaala yeh accha nahi hai. BP main sab kuch forcefully nahi hota hai.((Jaisa yeh jaakar dekhkar aaya hai udhar!!)) Aur Boyfriends ke saath karneka alag hai.
AK : {Yeh saala Chu**** galat time par harishchandra banta hai} Abe saale, kuch bhi pakha mat. TEREKO BEDADAI ((Bhavesh style !!)) Vikas DICK-Shit bhi ek saal baad America jaayega na, sab karke aayeega. Ek haramkhor Mumbai main Mara raha hai bina kaam ka. Who apun dono par hasega. Bol raha hoon chal….
VB : ((Even more irritated)) Tereko jaane ka hai, toh jaaakar gh*** mara. Main nahi aa raha hoon. Mera Sanskruti hai.. …. Mera …… hai, Mera …. Hai ..
AK: {Fed up, spots another ½ a dozen girls entering banana bar !!} Kaunsa Kruti ??? theek hai, tu idhar ruk, main udhar andar guskar 2 ghante main sab niptakar aata hai !!
VB : BH****** , mereko pata hai ki tu chamadi hai. Tera gharpe bolega toh tera kya hoga. Baki gaya bhad main tu Bh%&^&^* hai, tu M$%#&%^& hai, Tu….
((This guy has already left. Not ready to hear him at all.))

As VB looks into the river near by, he says to himself …
Saala jaana chahiye tha kya?? AK badva, kaisa chu**** hai, kaisa despo hai re. Mereko Saala FE main hi pata tha ki yeh kamina jaakar kisse na kisse ka rape karne wala hi hai. Saala, Mumbai main aukat main tha, idhar aakar saale ko chad gaya.
Main bhi saaala ch**** hai !! Mumbai main toh saala kitna ladkiyan gayee. Saala koi nahi pati. Ab yeh bhi nachega. Abe thuuuuu hai merepe…

By this time, AK, comes back running.
“Saale, Popat ho gaya be. Andar toh chale gaya. Mereko saala Gora bolta hai Banana lekar aa. Bh******, saala raat ko 10 baje ko Banana Ugaakar lekar aao kya ??”

==

Finally, Minisha Lamba and Deepika Padukone; Ranbir Kapoor is a Dickhead !